The Four Horsemen, Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness and Stonewalling, are indicators that a relationship has difficulties. The term Horsemen was coined by Dr John Gottman. How do we handle these in a relationship when an argument begins?
Well, a ‘slow startup’ technique can be very helpful. This involves the following three steps, 1. I am feeling (I statements deescalate). 2. About what 3. And now this is what I need and or want.