It can take a while to break out of a negative interaction cycle when conflicts occur. When you are insecurely attached you tend to include blame and criticism in the cycle.
Securely attached couples have problems the same as everyone else, they just manage them differently. In therapy, I aim to foster secure attachment.
Simplified cycle of insecure interaction
Secure example of interaction
Therapy helps remodel the interaction into a more secure style by stopping the cycle and reshaping the interaction during the session. When the couple enter the emotional connection level they do not blame or criticise. Both people are available, responsive and willing to engage.
