Feeling stuck? Keep arguing in the same way? A negative cycle of interaction.
Attachment styles, affect your relationships with others. Having an understanding of these can help couples see what is occurring below the surface of awareness. This is something that I can explain during early couples sessions. This helps people understand the hidden dynamics in their relationships and why they may feel stuck in repeating negative interactions.
Attachment styles
- Secure attachment – Research suggests that approximately 55% of the British population exhibits a secure attachment pattern. This aligns with global findings, which generally estimate that around 50-60% of individuals across various cultures have a secure attachment style. These people seldom appear in couples therapy.
- Insecure attachment – Research suggests that approximately 20% of the British population exhibits an avoidant attachment pattern, and 15% exhibit an anxious attachment pattern.
- These figures are again broadly in line with global estimates, which typically place the prevalence of avoidant attachment between 15-25% and anxious attachment between 15-20%.
- Disorganised attachment – Research suggests that approximately 15% of the British population exhibit a disorganized attachment pattern. This is generally consistent with global estimates, which place the prevalence of disorganized attachment somewhere between 10-20% across various cultures.
- Some overlaps exist between styles.
Understanding Anxiety and Avoidance
If anxiety is high in a relationship then the attachments are insecure or disorganised. If avoidance is high in a relationship then the attachments are insecure or disorganised. Secure attachment is what I try to help couples establish and in doing so this will break the negative cycle of interaction.
A helpful book that highlights attachment styles is here
Helping Couples
Therapy can help couples see that the negative cycle they are caught in. This is the enemy and not each other! Early in the therapy process, I will ask you both to form an alliance against the cycle of interaction. Book an appointment today.